Broken foster homes: What happens when foster parents separate in Saskatchewan?

What happens to foster children in Saskatchewan when foster parents decide to separate?

Al Killoh never thought he’d be asking that question when he and his soon-to-be ex-wife started fostering children almost two decades ago. In that time, Killoh and his former partner opened their home to more than 17 children.

Now, he’s fighting for his place in his foster son’s life.

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“I went from being D’s dad (to), I had nothing,” Killoh said.

D cannot be named, as he is a under the care of Saskatchewan’s Ministry of Social Services.

Killoh said he and his partner often provided a temporary home for babies as Saskatchewan foster parents. In March 2016, he and his former partner brought Jonathan, their now-adopted son, into their home right from the hospital at just a few days old.

“He was all head, the little goober,” Killoh said, pulling out his phone to proudly display his adoptive son’s baby photos.

“The kid’s got a heart of gold.”

He said his family grew again in October 2019 when their foster son, D, now six years old, came to them, also shortly after his birth.

“I’ve been ‘dad’ ever since,” Killoh said.

In 2022, Killoh and his wife separated.

Jonathan — called “J” for short — is now 10. Because J’s adoption is official, Killoh said he’s “still listed as dad” and has regular visits with his son.

The situation is more complicated with D.

Just wants to be ‘dad’

For the past two and a half years, Killoh has been trying to navigate how to continue in his official role as father to D and J in the midst of his divorce.

Earlier this year, Killoh reported receiving an unexpected and confusing call from the Ministry of Social Services informing him he was no longer presently fostering a child and asking if he’d like to become a foster parent to a new child.

A letter he received in late March later stated that there is “no record that Alan Killoh’s foster parent status was revoked,” but that the ministry said it understood Killoh was no longer interested in fostering.

“We would be pleased to meet with him to discuss the steps involved in matters where a current caregiver becomes unable to care for the child, ministry policy in alignment with all applicable legislation requires that extended family and community connections be explored first for potential placements,” the letter continued.

“If he actually hasn’t been terminated (as a foster parent), then why is it not possible for him to have contact with the case worker and be able to pick up the child from school and those kinds of things that he otherwise was able to do before?” questioned Charmaine Panko, a lawyer and mediator at Panko Collaborative Law, who is representing Killoh.

Referencing a recent event where J was injured at school and Killoh was not informed until the next day, Panko pointed out that had D’s primary caregiver — his mother — hadn’t been available, Killoh isn’t even approved at this time to pick D up from school.

Presently, Killoh has visits with D scheduled for every second weekend and whenever else D stops by to see him. Both D and J visit Killoh about every other Monday for dinner.

Killoh is also seeking access to some of the funding provided by the ministry for both boys, which his former partner receives. Despite incurring normal parenting expenses when the boys are in his care part-time, Killoh said he has not been given access to any part of that financial support.

Killoh fills oxygen tanks and works as a contract trapper for Delta Waterfowl to pay the bills.

“Usually the boys come with me and they’re bored as heck, but we get to be out in the country and get in a little dirt and trouble,” Killoh said, jokingly.

Money is tight for Killoh, he said, especially with the cost of living continuing to rise. He said his wife has custody of both boys most of the time, and she should be entitled to the bulk of the funding to care for their sons’ needs. However, access to a few more dollars each month would help him better care for the boys when they are in his care, he said, covering an occasional restaurant meal or tickets to a fun attraction.

“When I get a 10- and a six-year-old coming over, my God, those kids can eat,” Killoh said. “A single dad can’t afford to feed two little munchkins like that all the time.”

Killoh said his former partner has been amicable when it comes to co-parenting. He’s concerned because of how difficult it has been to receive answers about any aspect of continuing to foster through Saskatchewan’s Ministry of Social Services since his separation.

“It is about the special support — financial and otherwise — that J is entitled to under the program that they adopted him from,” Panko explained. “J has that entitlement, and all the correspondence related to it is, for some reason, only occurring with mom.”

“Whenever we try to find anything, we just either get ditched off or or just ignored completely,” Killoh said.

“It’s not like there’s a huge amount of money at stake here,” Panko explained. “It’s more about the lack of there being any kind of understanding around how does this work, and what are the policies that they’re relying on.

“Instead, it seems like it’s almost as if they’ve never dealt with separated foster parents before.”

Questions, frustrations with the Ministry of Social Service

Panko said the concerns around Killoh’s case centre around how the Ministry of Social Services is approaching him.

“Regardless of whether the parents are able to work well together, as they have in this case or not, there’s still a disconnect for that family to be able to understand how the ministry is going to interact with them if there isn’t some kind of documented process that they’re able to share with people,” Panko said.

“Even if it is the only family, it still seems appropriate that there’d be some type of decision-making process that could be explained and pointed to and documented.”

Panko outlined significant considerations, like where the child will live and whose home will be the child’s primary home if the child is permitted to live separately with both parents. She also pointed out the lack of clarity around how one foster parent might be chosen for ongoing custody over another, and whether it is in the best interest of the child to cut off one parent if both wish to be in the child’s life.

From a family law perspective, Panko explained that the most important consideration is doing what is in the best interest of the child or children involved. This is also a core consideration for the ministry.

“A child like (D) who, for six years of his life, has only known these two people as his parents, he’s a long term placement,” Panko stated, explaining that status means D wouldn’t be adopted elsewhere, making Killoh and his former partner D’s family system.

Panko said the ministry seems to have decided D’s foster mom is the main, if not only, parent, leaving Killoh “kicked to the curb.

“It’s not congruent with what we would understand is the best-interest test,” Panko explained.

Killoh feels he is speaking up for his foster child.

“Why can’t I be understood as his dad? He calls me it. Everyone knows me as it, except for social services.”

Limited answers set concerning precedent, lawyer warns

Killoh and Panko have reached out to the ministry multiple times this year so far, he said, trying to receive answers to their questions.

Despite speaking with various supervisors, caseworkers and lawyers with the ministry, none have been able to provide a policy on the subject.

A freedom of information request filed by Panko Law with the ministry yielded 300 semi-redacted pages of information from throughout Killoh’s foster parent history, naming Killoh and showing his standing as a recognized foster parent for D prior to his separation.

Panko Law has also contacted the Saskatchewan Advocate for Children and Youth and the Saskatchewan Foster Family Association, neither of which could provide further answers. The association’s executive director, Deb Davies, said in a statement the association “has not been involved in supporting families when they have separated and divorced.”

Davies said there is only one reference to separation in the province’s Children’s Services manual, relating to a change in agreement with a foster family when “a change in the family’s circumstances may impact the family’s ability to foster.”

650 CKOM reached out to the ministry with questions about the process in Saskatchewan.

A foster family that has decided to separate, according to the ministry, is asked to notify their caseworker immediately, as “the ministry is required to evaluate each caregiver individually to determine whether their new home environments meet requirements to remain an approved foster home for children in care.”

When deciding who to award custody of the child to, the ministry said its decision is made in the best interest of the child, considering how strong the attachment is between the child to each caregiver, the ability of each foster parent to offer “continuity and stability” and how well the parents can meet the child’s medical, social and cultural needs.

The ministry said it also considers the wishes of the child and a safety assessment of each household is conducted. Court orders and the child’s legal status also have to be taken into account.

“Foster placements are intended to provide a single, stable, primary residence for children and youth in care,” the ministry stated.

Regarding funding for children in foster care, the ministry stated that funding is provided to “the approved foster home provider where the child is placed.

“In situations where the ministry is supporting the assisted adoption of a child or youth, funding typically is provided to one designated parent.”

Panko said the lack of information Killoh has received from the ministry on how it handles situations where a foster family deals with separation or divorce is concerning — not only for Killoh, but for similar cases in Saskatchewan in the future.

“How are the decisions made?” Panko asked. “If it is indeed that only one person can be a foster parent when there’s two separate residences … then how do you get that information in a way that helps inform some of your decisions about even who?”

Killoh said he is sharing his story publicly now out of desperation.

“I don’t know where else to go,” Killoh said. “It’s been years of just getting sloughed off … I just want an answer.”

“I want it to be known I’m really (D’s) dad.”

Read more:

• More flexibility, fewer Fridays: Why some Sask. communities are rethinking the school week
• Saskatoon homeless count reveals 22 per cent are children and youths
• Saskatoon group homes have recipe to help kids succeed

Editor’s note: An earlier version of this article incorrectly identified the child in this case. We apologise for the error.