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For Misha Pavelick’s family, there is no end to the grief they’ve felt at his loss, the grief they’ve been dealing with for nearly 20 years.
Their victim impact statements were delivered on Tuesday morning at the very start of the sentencing hearing for the man convicted of killing Misha in 2006. He was found guilty of second-degree murder in November.
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“I remember the first day I met (Misha), a tiny baby in the middle of my parents’ bed. That memory has never left me,” said his sister, Kathleen, in her statement. She lives out of country, so the statement was read out in court by their cousin.
She said the loss of her brother has been profound and devastating, and has completely changed her.
“Misha’s absence feels like cruelty every day. It is not something that is healed; it is something I have learned to carry,” she said.
Misha Pavelick (Saskatchewan RCMP/Facebook)
Kathleen said her brother loved Bob Marley so much that when he was little, he would shout “get up, stand up. Stand up for your rights!” quoting the Jamaican singer.
She said when he was little he would follow her everywhere, getting on her nerves — but she told court there’s nothing she wouldn’t give for him to follow her again.
All about Misha
Together, the family members painted a picture of Misha, calling him goofy, compassionate, kind and deeply loved.
His mother, Susan Martin, said Misha would have been embarrassed at everything that’s taken place, that he didn’t want to be the centre of attention. She called him her “beamish boy.”
Misha’s father, Lorne Pavelick, said he was an independent and curious toddler, full of life. He learned to skate early and played hockey, later playing golf as well.
Lorne said he would give anything to hear Misha say again, “Dad, let’s go play a round together.”
The night Misha died
The four of them talked about the 2006 May long weekend when Misha was killed, and what it did to them.
Kathleen called it the worst day of her life, describing the dread and uncertainty of waiting, and the horror of finding out Misha didn’t make it.
His funeral was five days later, and she said she made a beeline to his casket, she put her hand on his chest and could feel the stab wound that killed him.
“This small but fatal wound; I will never forget the way that it felt under my fingertips. I can still feel it,” she told the court.
She sat by his side for the whole service and didn’t take her hand away from him.
Misha’s step-mother, Karen Mondor, said the memories of that night are still with her — the call, the sick feeling, the rushing, and the look on the RCMP member’s face when he was about to tell them the terrible news.
Lorne remembered the call he got when Misha was hurt, explaining that he asked for the phone to be put to Misha’s ear and he told Misha he loved him and it was going to be okay.
“I don’t know if he ever heard me. I have lived with that uncertainty for two decades,” said Lorne.
He did get to tell Misha he loved him that afternoon when he came home for a shower and a change of clothes. Lorne said he’s always been grateful he had that moment.
His mother, Susan was set to visit Misha the next week, but at that time was at her home in B.C. Local RCMP members came to her door to break the news.
Lifelong grief
They all described the toll the murder took on them.
Susan said the heartbreak affected her body — uncontrollable jerking, hunching over, curling inward. She said she took to wearing Misha’s clothes, like his sweatshirts, for a few years afterward.
She said her life centred around getting away from people, and she still feels isolated and uneasy at family and community gatherings.
Lorne said he re-lives that night constantly with terrible dreams, and he took to sleeping with a baseball bat next to his bed out of fear for his family.
He described his heartbreak at the things Misha will never get to do. He said he’s watched Misha’s friends grow up, get married and start families, saying Misha should have had a chance to live his life.
Lorne Pavelick, Misha’s father, spoke after the guilty verdict was handed down in November. (CJME file photo)
Lorne is a musician and Misha was learning the bass guitar — he said he’ll never get to experience performing with his son.
Karen talked about Lorne, saying every year his mood changes in the weeks leading up to the May long weekend, describing sad, edgy and tearful interludes.
For her, she said there will always be a weighty sense of loss and an absence that can never be filled.
Kathleen told court she had to abandon a career in film because the storylines she was working on hit too close to home. She became suspicious of young men she would encounter in Regina, wondering if this was the person who’d killed Misha, and she eventually moved away because she didn’t feel safe or comfortable.
She also suffers from anxiety and coped with it by developing an obsession with gathering details about other tragedies, a habit which she said led to the loss of her job several months ago.
She also talked about the things her brother will never get to do — she said she now has a young daughter, and said Misha would have been the best uncle.
Turning to the killer
During the trial, Kathleen said when she walked into the courtroom, the person who’d killed her brother now had a face. She said, in honour of Misha, she made frequent eye contact with the accused in the prison box, and he looked back. She said his “callous smirks” let her know all she needed to about him.
Lorne said for nearly two decades, he carried his grief alongside the agony of not knowing who was responsible.
“I am sad and bewildered by the fact that the individual found guilty of Misha’s death has not taken ownership of his actions to date. And yet, it’s not that surprising when you consider he managed to evade the truth and its consequences for over 19 years,” said Lorne.
“Ironically, that was a lifetime for my son.”
He said nothing will bring Misha back, and he hopes the full weight of his loss will be understood and considered.
The hearing is scheduled for three days, including discussion of sentencing norms, reports, and arguments around whether the sentence should be as an adult or a youth.
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